Peggie's Place in Cyberspace: A Lite Look at Christian Life on the Web
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PLEASE NOTE: Humor pieces are meant to be funny - no offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves; please do not take the humor personal or offensive.
2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.
3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"
5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.
6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.
7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."
9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the heart to clean it..."
10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
--Found circulating the Web via Email.
"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?" Quickly the
mother
checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the
pleading blue
eyes of her little girl's upturned face. "A dollar ninety-five. That's
almost
$2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you
and in no
time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself.
Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar
bill from
Grandma." As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and
counted out 17
pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went
to the
neighbour and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten
cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last
she had
enough money to buy the necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She
wore them
everywhere - Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she
took them
off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath.
Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green. Jenny had a
very
loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop
whatever he
was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.
One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes,
Daddy. You know that love you."
"Then give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can
have
Princess - the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink
tail.
Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favourite." "That's
okay, Honey.
Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do
you love
me?" "Daddy, you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls."
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new
one I got
for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket
that
matches her sleeper." "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little
one. Daddy
loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.
A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed
with her legs
crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling
and one
silent tear rolled down her cheek. "What is it, Jenny? What's the
matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy.
And when she
opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she
finally
said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with
one hand
to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into
his pocket
and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave
them to
Jenny.
He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the
dime-store
stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.
So as it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up
the cheap
things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure.
Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things which God wants you to let
go of?
Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships,
habits and
activities which you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to
let go of?
Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand, but do believe
this one
thing.................. God will never take away something without giving
you
something better to take its place.
--Author unknown. Found circulating the Web via email.
"Peggie Breaks"--humor & inspiration links each month
Remember, there's nothing that can happen today
Please
e-mail me to say hi.
With thanks to Songs of Praise
All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
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Most of the music playing at Peggie's Place originates from Songs of Praise.
This Christian home has been visited a zillion times
since December 26, 1995!
A safety tip: Internet links and material may include other links and/or material which do not reflect my Christian views or yours. Please choose wisely and use with discretion! And if you find an ugly spider hiding in a dark corner,
you may smash it with a broom from my BROOM
CLOSET--I hate offensive stuff too!
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Peggie C. Bohanon, Springfield, MO. All rights reserved.
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"Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
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1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.
. . . Visit Pastor Tim's great CleanLaugh site!

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with
her mother
at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls
in a pink
foil box.

Let's let the world know that Christian Web sites--like Peggie's Place--can be fun too!
. . . Thanks for your vote!
Introducing Pastor David Watson, Central Assembly, Springfield, Missouri
START HERE or skip straight to the ROOMS!.
Have fun--and should you get lost, scroll to the end of a page for a directory.
For more inspiration, visit The Prayer 'n Praise Room at Peggie's Place!
For more daily humor:
Reverend Fun--A fun Christian cartoon of the day!
Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List--a daily email humor list

that you and your Lord together cannot handle!
for the music playing at Peggie's Place!
This original composition is entitled, "Jesus, You're the Song that I Sing."
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.

Peggie's Personal Statement of Faith . . . The Peggie's Place Story & a Mission Statement
Visit their great Web site to hear beautiful tunes by many talented artists (CDs are available).
--It jogs around the world and around the clock--to find
YOU!
Well, not quite, but there HAS been a houseful--and
STILL room for one more--YOU!
The Christian Counter scans the entire site--and there's plenty of chocolate for everyone--so enjoy!Please note that while I strongly adhere to major tenets of the
evangelical Christian faith, I may not personally agree with every specific doctrinal belief set forth in other
Christian pages, nor would all necessarily agree with me. I do want to provide a diversity of links and resource material
for the entire Body of Christ to enjoy, and trust you will view it as such.
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