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Please note: Humor pieces are meant to be funny - no offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves; please do not take the humor personal or offensive.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
--Author unknown.
When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over, but
only
partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard.
Maybe some
other car will tweak his backside with a mirror.
The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand. Bob? Bob
from
Church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than
the
coming ticket. A Christian cop catching a guy from his own church. A
guy who
happened to be a little eager to
get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was
about to play golf with tomorrow.
Jumping out of the car, he approached a man he saw every Sunday, a
man he'd
never seen in uniform. "Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this." Hello,
Jack."
No smile. "Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and
kids."
"Yeah, I guess." Bob seemed uncertain. Good. "I've seen some long
days at
the
office lately. I'm afraid I bent the rules a bit-just this once."
Jack toed
at a pebble on the pavement. "Diane said
something about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know what I
mean?" "I know
what you mean. I also know that you have
a reputation in our precinct." Ouch. This was not going in the right
direction. Time to change tactics. "What'd you clock me
at?" "Seventy. Would
you sit back in your car please?" "Now wait a minute here, Bob. I
checked as
soon as I saw you. I was barely nudging 65." The lie seemed to come
easier
with every ticket. "Please, Jack, in the car."
Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming
it
shut, he stared at the dash board. He was in no rush to open the
window. The
minutes ticked by. Bob scribbled away on the pad. Why hadn't he asked
for a
driver's license? Whatever the reason, it would be a month of Sundays
before
Jack ever sat
near this cop again.
A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Bob, a
folded paper
in hand. Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough
room for
Bob to pass him the slip. "Thanks." Jack could not quite keep the
sneer out
of his voice. Bob returned to his police car without a word. Jack
watched
his
retreat in the mirror. Jack unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was
this
one going to cost? Wait a minute. What was this?
Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket. Jack began
to read:
"Dear Jack, Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when
killed by a
car. You guessed it - a speeding driver. A fine and three months in
jail,
and
the man was free. Free to hug his daughters. All three of them. I
only had
one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven before I can ever hug
her
again. A
thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A Thousand times I
thought I
had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me.
And be
careful, Jack, my son is all I have left."
"Bob."
Jack turned around in time to see Bob's car pull away and head down
the
road.
Jack watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too,
pulled
away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a
surprised
wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle with care. Drive safely and carefully.
Remember, cars are not the only thing recalled by their maker.
--Selected from God@Work newsletter, a ministry of St Mark's United Methodist Church, 8550 Pioneers Blvd., Lincoln Nebraska 68520 U.S.A.
DECEMBER Breaks at Peggie's Place--humor & inspiration links
Past devos are available in the Tower Archives.
Remember, there's nothing that can happen today
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature
we will rejoice and be glad... (Psalm 118:24)." Have you got a funny bone or two? Can fun connect with faith? You'd better believe it...."Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
. . . Visit Pastor Tim's great CleanLaugh site!
10. Cats' facial expressions.

Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a
55
zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so
often?
START HERE or skip straight to the ROOMS!.
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