Today's devos: !WordWalk! - "Daddy Was a Pastor!" ... Bible Bytes - "Listening to the Liar or the Lord!" Visit Peggie's HOME PAGE for a listing of Christian resources available at Peggie's Place! Don't miss the 16-room tour!
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature Have you got a funny bone or two? Can fun connect with faith? You'd better believe it...."Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!Please note: Humor pieces are meant to be funny - no offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves; please do not take the humor personal or offensive.
. . . Visit Pastor Tim's great CleanLaugh site!

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... (Proverbs 17:22)."
A Post-Modem Turkey Poem
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Tom took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I just had to know.
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of, well...... Black November!
Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of your three.
And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In comes the farmer's wife, to hack off your head;
Then she'll pluck out all your feathers until you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out your insides and leave you in the sink;
And then comes the worst part he said not bluffing,
She'll spread your hind quarters and pack your bottom with stuffing!
Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low to remain overlooked.
I began a new diet of nuts and granola, High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes, I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes.
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But it was I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the Turkey compound;
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said, "Christmas is coming!"
--Author unknown.
Giving from the Bottom! During holiday seasons in America, you can actually call the Butterball Turkey Hot Line. And, yes, you can get an answer to whatever turkey question you may have. A news commentator, Paul Harvey, said they had monitored that hotline last Thanksgiving. One lady called and she said, "I've had this turkey in my freezer for 23 years. Can I use it?" This is really true!
The man on the hotline said, "Well, if your freezer has been set on 0ƒF the whole time and it has not been defrosted, then the turkey is probably okay. But maybe not the taste." Well the lady decided not to use it. She gave it to the church.
When that lady gave to God's work what she really had no use for, she wasn't the only one. That's been going on for a long time. Our word for today from the Word of God comes from Malachi 1 beginning at verse 6, where God says to his ancient people, "You show contempt for my name. But you ask, 'How have we shown contempt for your name?' 'You place defiled food on my altar. But you ask, 'How have we defiled you?' 'By saying that the Lord's Table is contemptible. When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?' says the Lord Almighty".
It's a powerful, powerful dialogue, and here's what the Lord expects from us -- not the lame, not the blind. Numbers 18:29 says, "You must present as the Lord's portion the best and holiest part of everything given to you". "The best, the holiest" He says. But, the best is what we want to hang on to. We want a low risk commitment that gives to Jesus what doesn't matter that much to us while holding onto the things that really do. Obviously, we know we need to give something to this One who loves us and gives us life forever. But we want to reach into the freezer and meet our responsibility with some old turkey and maybe we can even get a receipt for it. God's reaction to that kind of giving - Malachi 1:10 says, "Oh, that one of you would shut the temple doors, so that you would not light useless fires on my altar! I am not pleased with you, says the Lord Almighty, and I will accept no offering from your hands". God says, "Close the church, cancel the meetings, close your hymn books, forget your offerings. I am not accepting any of it anyway." What you have given to God is an insult not a sacrifice.
Now we have a lot of time to put into making money, watching TV, recreation, sports, but we are just too busy to give prime time to the work of the Lord. When the call comes for young men and women to offer their lives for the Lord's work, we pull our son or daughter a littler closer and say, "Here am I. Send someone else's child". We give what we can afford to give -- financially, anyway -- and keep most of our income to spend on ourselves. Remember, Jesus isn't interested in the amount of the gift, but the amount of the sacrifice. We "dedicate our life to Christ", but only make Him Lord of the areas that aren't really important to us anyway. Jesus is officially Lord, but we still maintain control of the things that really matter - our relationships, our marriage, our money, our business, our ministry, our dream, and our prize possessions. So like the believers of Malachi's day, we give to our Savior from the bottom not the top and we forfeit his blessing on our lives. We miss the peace and significance that could be ours if we gave Him our best.
Maybe you've been limiting His Lordship in your life, offering to Jesus your leftovers. Make this the day you say, "Enough mediocrity, Lord. I've played games with your Lordship long enough. I am yours Jesus. I'm all yours." He deserves so much more than you've been giving. Jesus says to you today in the words of the old hymn, "I gave, I gave My life for thee. What has thou given for Me?"
--Selected from Daily Wisdom. Today's Daily Wisdom is written by Ron Hutchcraft.
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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